Kiss Me Again Page 4

  She looked away to gather her racing thoughts, but panic had disabled her coping skills and left her in a heightened state where she was working from her gut. "So what? You're going to go work for Publix now? I thought you swore you'd never be like the masses here and work for a grocery store. I don't understand, Bucky. Help me understand why everything is changing." She fought to keep the hysteria from her voice but failed.

  In anticipation of what she was about to inevitably hear, she gripped the counter with one hand and waited. What would he say? What would it change? Would the eventual outcome be something drastic like divorce or just change the structure of their marriage? The possibilities were endless. Truth was, she might be able to handle almost any of the scenarios with the exception of someone else.

  "Your dad always says to follow your heart--" The ringing of Buck's phone interrupted him. After pulling it out, he looked at the screen and pressed ignore. He switched the tone to vibrate.

  "Oh my God." Andee moaned and covered her eyes with the palms of her hands, "Do not quote my father. He's a person who is never content with what he has." She dropped her hands and watched him ignore the call, "Was that your dad?"

  "Just listen. Your dad did what he wanted and he was happier for it."

  She sliced her hands through the air to emphasize her point. "And my mother was stressed out because of it. Trying to figure out how to feed us when he was between jobs. Trying to keep up the appearances he expected. My dad is a selfish asshole who moved his family every six months to a wreck of a house. He made us live in a construction zone nearly every day of our lives all so that he could make more money. Money that he does nothing with. Just hoards it. "

  "Oh, come on. It was never that bad. I've heard the stories. I was even there for part of it, and you never went without." Buck crossed his arms over his chest.

  "I bet my momma would tell a different tale." Her voice hit a new high.

  The low hum of vibration filled the pause between their words.

  Buck's volume met hers. "We should ask her because she seems pretty happy to me." Following a sigh, he reached into his pocket and silenced his phone a second time.

  "Why are we even talking about my parents? What does this have to do with anything?"

  "It has everything to do with what I'm talking about." He moved away, turning his back to her, and she watched his shoulders rise and fall as he took in a deep breath.

  She closed her eyes and quietly said, "I get that my parents are much nicer than your dad, but you didn't grow up with my dad. His life wasn't as rosie as he always made it look. I know working for your dad is much like facing a bully. But you're going to own those stores one day--"

  "I don't want to own them." The terse tone of his words snapped her eyes open and she saw him facing her, his face drawn and angry. "I don't want anything to do with it. I'd rather be a beggar on the street than give him another day of my life. I'm sick of him pitting Cal and I against each other for bonuses and promotions--that rarely come through, need I remind you. I'm tired of him trying to hijack my life. For the love of God, Andee, he wants to take our vacation home money and use it on a hunting cabin. That alone should piss you off."

  "We had a plan," she yelled. "Now, suddenly that's no longer good for you? I don't know who--"

  "You're so focused on your ten-year plan that you can't see what's going on around you." He met her volume and took it a notch higher.

  Andee gasped. "You come home drunk, tell me you've been fired, and now you're telling me that you're not going back? What else are you gonna surprise me with?"

  Buck pulled out his phone and shut it off. He tossed it on the counter. "Do you not see how unhealthy this relationship is?"

  Andee paled and wrung her hands. Had he been avoiding his issues with her just like he was avoiding his father's calls? Could he really think they were unhealthy or was he talking about his father? A cacophony of thoughts, most heavy with fear, crowded her mind making logical reasoning impossible, "Is that him that keeps calling? Aren't you going to tell him your plans?"

  "I'd like to tell you first, but if you don't care--" He stood with one hand on his hip and the other pointing at her.

  "I never said I didn't care, but it's kinda rude to let him hang like that--" Andee folded her arms around her, squeezing her arms tightly, hoping to hold herself together. If he could treat his own father with such careless disregard, how would he treat her?

  "He fired me!" He stepped toward her and shouted, "Do you not hear what I'm saying? Are you unable to hear me?"

  "But have you even told him what your--"

  "He. Fired. Me." Buck yelled again. "I don't owe him anything."

  "What about me? Do you owe me anything because you've made all these changes without so much as a hint as to what is on your mind-" She hollered.

  "I'm trying-"

  Their voices escalated as they continued to talk over the other, not listening, instead trying to get the other to see their side. A years worth of stress, confusion and its mounting strain spilled out through their words and in the pitch of their voices.

  "You can't even tell your father you're done-" she said over him.

  "I told him yesterday-"

  A shrill whistle made the argument come to an abrupt stop. Lorelei stepped between them.

  "Now. There's nothing I want more than for y'all to work this out and put it behind you. But I reckon you might not want to do it here, with everyone out in the diner privy to the conversation."

  "Jesus," Buck said and stepped away.

  "Was it bad?" Andee asked Lorelei.

  She nodded. "Everyone out there is tuned in. I'm sure the gossips have phoned their counterparts and word is spreading as we speak."

  Andee slumped against the counter, her head resting in the palms of her hands.

  "We'll just work this out at home," Buck said and started to move away, but Lorelei snagged him by the elbow and pulled him back.

  "No. I've known the two of you my entire life, and I've never seen you all like this. From what I can gather this fight is two different conversations. Neither of you can see that. My folks are in town and my dad's doing a marriage retreat of sorts at the church this weekend. It starts in a few minutes. I called him and he's expecting you."

  "I don't think so, Lorelei." Buck shook his head.

  Lorelei stepped closer, and though she lowered her voice, Andee heard her say, "Yeah, Bucky. You're going. Do you know that Andee thinks you don't find her attractive anymore?"

  Part of her hated that her friend had outed her but another part felt relief. She'd been too afraid to say the words, afraid his confirmation would follow them.

  Through her tears, Andee saw Buck stare at her. Yet, he made no move to comfort her or ease her fears.

  Lorelei turned to Andee. "You all rarely fight. And now, when you need to do it to work out some stuff, you're no good at it. You two don't know how to fight. You need a mediator. That's my dad."

  "What about the interviews?" Andee stalled.

  "You're just gonna have to trust me. I'll hire the one I think works best. Can you do that?"

  Andee nodded and wiped her eyes with a tea towel.

  Buck sighed. "Why can't you do that for me, Andee? Trust me like that."

  Before Andee could respond, Lorelei cut her off. "Not here. Take it to dad."

  "What about closing up?" Andee twisted the tea towel in her hands.

  "Kylie is coming in. She'll help through the weekend. You all just focus on each other. Melinda said she'll help out until help gets here."

  Andee started to stay something, but Lorelei pulled her into a hug. "Focus on your marriage," she whispered.

  Andee nodded and let Lorelei wipe her face clean with the towel.

  "Do you want to ride together?" Buck asked.

  Andee shook her head. "I need a minute to gather my thoughts. I'll follow you there." She pulled off her apron then bent to pull her p
urse from a crate on the floor. If there was one thing from this whole experience that Andee was certain of, it was that if Buck Swift no longer wanted to be with her she likely wouldn't have the strength to knock some sense into him. That the idea of him moving on would break her in two.

  CHAPTER SIX

  From the moment he walked into the diner and saw the tired but frustrated expression on his wife's face, he felt pretty confident there was no chance his actions from last night would blow over.

  He was tired, his head pounded, and his gut told him that this was not the time or place to have the conversation they needed to have. But now that his plan was in motion, he didn't want to waste another day and had already put a call in to the realtor who was selling the empty lot he'd come to covet.

  Now, as he waited to walk his wife to her car, he banked his frustration. The last thing he wanted to do was air his business in front of more people, including Reverend Parker, a man Buck had always wished was his father instead of the ballbuster he'd gotten. But he'd go to hell and back to never again see his wife look like she had a moment ago. Her face ravaged from tears and fear. Even if hell looked like couples counseling with the guy who used to be his youth pastor, who had married him and Andee, and who threw a football like a laser.

  While Buck held the diner door, waiting, a line from an old movie played on repeat in his head. "Dead man walking," it screamed, all the way to the church.

  He parked beside Andee, and together they walked in silence to the large building. Usually they'd hold hands, but today he worried about touching her. Afraid she'd start crying again. His intense need to ease her pain and guilt for knowing he was wrecking her ten-year plan almost made him reconsider going back to work for his tyrannical father. Almost.

  He'd known this was going to be hard. Andee came from a large family that was always on the move, changing plans, and forgetting about little things like deadlines, routines, and schedules. It had made his little type-A planner crazy back in high school, and she was only able to manage it now because she could leave her family's nonsense behind for the comfort and structure of their home.

  Andee needed predictability and it was his job to see she had it. That's why dropping this bomb on her without time to prep her was going to be hard. Real hard. And it was all his fault because he hadn't figured out the best way to prime her for his news back when he knew the change was coming.

  They entered the front of the church, and immediately his eyes were drawn into the chapel, down the long center walkway that ended at the altar where Jesus hung from the cross.

  "God is watching," His wife whispered.

  "Pardon?" Her words caught him off guard.

  "God is watching It's something momma used to say when she thought we were lying. It always got us to confess. I suppose that's the point of this exercise." she mumbled the last bit.

  It was do-or-die time. There'd be no skirting the truth in order to avoid what needed to be said. There would be no white lies to save feelings.

  It wasn't that he believed God would smite him down or anything like that. He knew that he was to blame for the state of their relationship. His hesitation and concern with rocking her boat, for increasing their risk, had made him drag his feet too long. Andee deserved better.

  Reverend Parker came out from an annex room and smiled at them. "Come in. Come in. We're just getting started, held the introductions until you arrived." He gestured for them to precede him.

  Andee looked to him, something she always did when she was nervous and moving into new territory. He gave her a reassuring nod and, sensing her hesitation, stepped forward.

  "Reverend. Thanks for letting us come last minute." Buck extended his hand and the two men shook, the reverend clasping Buck's hand between his.

  "I'm glad you're here. It's good to see you both. I wish it were under different circumstances, but this'll be a good thing. Trust me, son. I'll take care of you."

  They released hands and Reverend Parker clapped him on the back as Buck moved to wait at the door for his wife to precede him.

  Reverend Parker opened his arms to give Andee a hug.

  "Have faith, sis," Reverend Parker said, using the nickname he'd given her ages ago, back when she was a child and, like Buck, was at their house more than at home.

  Buck held the door open for her and followed her into the small annex room. Inside, he counted three other couples. A small gasp escaped Andee and he swung his gaze to the direction she was looking and saw Kevin and Lisa Norman.

  Kevin look like Buck felt. Plowed down by a truck. Kevin had certainly had far more to drink yesterday than Buck had and the pallor of his skin reflected just as much.

  Reverend Parker closed the door and asked everyone to take a seat. "Let's begin with introductions and why you're here." He indicated to a couple who appeared to have many seasons together behind them. They were smiling and holding hands.

  "We're Fred and Milly Brown. We've been coming to couples therapy for the last twenty years. After our kids moved out, we suddenly found ourselves alone, together. A lot. It was rough. Instead of throwing in the towel, we gave this a try. We've been coming every year since for a tune-up." Fred told the room while Milly nodded in agreement.

  Buck and Andee shared a look but she quickly looked away, likely because she remembered she was mad at him. Not about to let the moment go, he leaned toward her but made it look as if he was adjusting in his seat. "Show offs," he whispered.

  She pressed her lips together to hold back her laugh and gave him a slight nod to tell him she agreed.

  "Hi," said a perky, young blonde sitting next to a stick of a guy. "I'm Tiffany and this is Tyler." She pointed to the stick, who waved.

  "Hi," Tyler said.

  "We're getting married in four months and this class was recommended before we actually tie the knot." She rubbed her knees, in nervousness or excitement. It was hard to tell.

  "Yup," said Tyler, clearly bored and only there because he was told to be.

  Reverend Parker pointed to the Normans.

  Lisa was sitting slightly turned away from Kevin with her arms crossed. "I'm Lisa Norman. I'm married to this jackass--sorry Reverend--and I'm here because we have children, and we promised our families we would come."

  Kevin nodded. "I agreed to come."

  "If you don't want to be here, Kevin, don't. It'll be a waste of my time as well as yours. It's OK to leave. God won't strike you down as soon as you walk out of the building." Reverend Parker leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets.

  "I wish he would," Lisa mumbled.

  The reverend could stare a person down in under five seconds. His gaze was penetrating, as if God was watching from behind the same blue eyes he shared with Lorelei. He was giving that look to Lisa right now and Buck had to look away.

  "Sorry again, Reverend," she mumbled.

  "I know you're hurt, Lisa. But let's try to keep this aboveboard."

  "Yes, sir."

  Reverend indicated to Buck and Andee that it was their turn.

  "You talk," Buck whispered.

  "Hi. We're the Swifts. I'm Andee and this is Bucky . . . um, Buck . . . and ah . . . We're here because your daughter made us come," she said the last bit to Reverend Parker.

  He tossed back his head and laughed. "So she did. She's bossy like that. But I think it might have something to do with the fight you all were having. Am I wrong?"

  Buck shook his head. "No sir. We were certainly having a fight. But is that so unusual?"

  "I don't know, Buck, is it? Do you and Andee always fight in public?"

  Buck shook his head again. "No sir. Actually, we don't usually fight." He glanced at his wife. "Not since you taught us, back in youth group, how to wait and listen. To pause before we react."

  Reverend Parker smiled. "I'm glad some things stuck from back then." Everyone in the room laughed. "If my memory serves, I believe you two were also in those classes." He looked at the N
ormans.

  Kevin planted his elbows on his legs and buried his head in his hands, his nod barely perceivable.

  "OK, let's start with a prayer and get to working on making each other happy."

  Everyone bowed their heads, and Buck could see Andee's lips moving. He wondered if she was adding her own little silent prayer at the end of the group's.

  "OK, first assignment is to take eight pictures. " The reverend pulled a stack of paper off the table. "I'll give each of you one of these. You're to answer the questions by using a photo. I assume you all have smartphones. I know the Browns have done this before, so I ask that they try to reach deep for more thoughtful answers." Reverend Parker walked around the room and handed out one piece of paper per person. "Do not share your list with your spouse or soon-to-be spouse."

  Desperate for a lifeline, a way to ease his wife into what he hoped would be a successful journey they would share, Buck said his own prayer before opening the paper and reading the instructions.

  Be creative. Use pictures, screenshots, or any other sort of image that answers these questions with only one picture. Be prepared to explain it. You have thirty minutes.

  1. Where did you go on your first date?

  2. Where did you go on your last date?

  3. What's one thing your spouse loves more than anything?

  4. What's one thing you love more than anything?

  5. Where was the last place you shared a laugh?

  6. What is your spouse's goal?

  7. What is their dream?

  8. What is your dream?

  GO!

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Ready to escape a room heavy with confusion and uncertainty, Andee jumped up and looked around the room. Reading the word GO had prompted her fight or flight system into action. It was do-or-die time, as Buck would say, and she was torn on what to do. She should fly away and hope to avoid the issue. Maybe she could live with the missionary position the rest of her life. It wasn't that the sex was bad or anything. Oh, who was she kidding. There was nothing wrong with their missionary sex; it was the feeling of being shut out of his life that had her knees quivering. Watching him avoid his father made her scared he'd do the same to her.